Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

I was tired of trying and failing.

How did the trans issue metastasize within just a decade from being a question of kindness and tolerance to a tiny minority to convulsing a whole society?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s still here.

One day, I happened to walk past where my crush was with friends. Then all of a sudden they start laughing, and someone maybe him, goes "freaking (my name) with her freaking hair!" Can anyone offer insights into this? We're in middle school.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Be who you already are.

How is bestiality wrong, but killing animals for sport or trophies is considered okay?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I was tired of fighting.

What were some things that the ancient Greeks excelled at compared to the Romans?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are like me, then.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Why does my crush make me jealous about having a girlfriend?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

The sadness was still there.

Orchestral Music: How well synchronised in time do musicians have to be to sound as if they are playing together?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why do I smell bad even though I have good hygiene?

And the sadness?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Have you been with a stranger yet?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Why can't my adopted sister accept she is not part of my family because she isn't related? Why can't she stop calling my parents mum and dad?

I had run out of hope.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.